December 9, 1997
"December - Enjoy or Endure?"
by Diana Waring

Beyond Survival Things We Wish We'd Known Ancient Civilizations and the Bible Romans, Reformers, Revolutionaries World Empires, World Missions, World Wars History Tapes Encouragement Tapes Music Newsletter Web Column Laughing Corner Online Catalog Place An Order! Monthly Special New & Upcoming Meet the Warings Schedule Message Board Site Map What's New? Search Site Web Links HOME

Dear Friends, December! A month of decorating, celebrating, gift-making, gift-giving, family, traditions, and bustling around until you drop from sheer exhaustion. Do you enjoy this month of the year, or do you endure it? Do you feel as if you are running around in circles, like the proverbial headless chicken, without really knowing how to slow down and savor the moment? I understand. We have, at various moments in our married life, been involved with: directing church musicals, hosting Christmas Eve banquets at our home, making all of our Christmas gifts, baking and delivering gingerbread houses all over town (complete with authentic caroling)... in addition to the normal activities of running a business from our family room and homeschooling. Whew!! What an incredible rat race it was, with me acting the part of the chief rat. "Hurry up, we're going to be late!" "No, I don't have time for that right now!" "Snow? Oh no!!! What am I going to do now?" "You better finish up that schoolwork before Grandma comes... Or else she won't think I'm doing a good enough job!" "Leave me alone, please. Mommy has a headache and needs to sleep!" Hmmm. After several years of this hectic, frantic, "out-of-mind" experience, we said, "Enough!" We changed our priorities, eliminated many of the outside demands, and slowed way down. (I should probably confess that moving to South Dakota helped a lot in this transition time!) So... the question became, "Now what?" When you cut things down to the bone, how do you know what to is "healthy" to keep? Some folks look at this issue and say, "Don't celebrate Christmas at all, since it really has its roots in a pagan holiday." Others choose to celebrate the Jewish feast of Hannukah ("Jesus celebrated this holiday..."). In other words, they believe we shouldn't keep anything. If you can do this in joy and thankfulness, blessing others, and refraining from becoming self-righteous, GREAT! However, in our family, celebrating Christmas is a wonderful way of remembering and retelling the story of the Incarnation of God in man. It is a time of worship and praise, a time of laughter and joy, a time of giving gifts in remembrance of the Greatest Gift ever given, a time of weaving memories into our children's hearts. The trick is: to keep it simple. About twenty years ago, I heard a preacher explain the profound impact that traditions and rituals have on the family. He said that traditions and rituals give children a sense of belonging, a sense of who they are, and where they've come from. This preacher described his family's ritual for opening gifts on Christmas morning - after trooping by the tree and eating breakfast in the dining room! He went on to say that even if we were not raised with wonderful traditions and rituals, we could begin them in our own families. Hmmm. Now, that struck home. I determined that my children would enjoy the benefits of having traditions and rituals. The only question was, obviously, "What should they be???" Bill and I spent our first years trying to establish the kinds of traditions and rituals that fit our family. As you might imagine, when our lives were filled with frantic, frenetic activities, these things pretty much went down the drain... (I think the only one I kept religiously was the one about staying up until 2:00 a.m. on Christmas Day, wrapping presents with my mother!) With the profound change of slowing down came the profound experience of savoring the moment, delighting in and enjoying together the simple traditions of a family Christmas. Now, the Christmas season is something to look forward to, rather than something to try desperately to endure. If you are saying to yourself, "Great idea, Diana... But, what kind of traditions?", let me share with you a sampling of traditions of the Waring Family: - The Getting of the Green Selecting a Christmas tree for our home has been a wonderfully wild and wacky experience every year that we've been in South Dakota. The year I was sick with pneumonia, we thought we wouldn't put up a tree. But on Christmas Eve, the whole family said, "Let's do it!" So, by the mercy (and humor) of God, we found one lone tree in the Safeway parking lot with a "Take me, I'm free" sign on it. Another year, friends on a ranch in Wyoming said to come out and choose a tree. We found our tree in knee-deep snow with, or perhaps in spite of, the help of their horses! This year, as we were driving through Wisconsin at the end of November, we realized that this was Christmas Tree Mecca! (So to say...) We stopped at a spot with trees for sale, bought one that was wrapped up, and brought it home without knowing whether it was a beauty or a dud. We cackled for miles about the adventure of buying a tree sight unseen. By the way, it turned out to be GORGEOUS! - A Light For the Eyes Over the past eighteen years, Bill and I have been given decorations, we've made decorations, the children have made decorations... So the decorations themselves have wonderful memories connected with their arrival in the family. Stringing the lights around the tree and decorating with these memory-filled ornaments is a precious time in our family. Each of us has our own special ornaments to hang, and the room is often filled with cries of, "Oh, I remember THIS one!" My daughter is the official keeper of the Eggnog for this momentous event. (She reminds me to buy it, reminds me to get it out for decorating, and carefully doles out exact quantities to each participating member.) - "It is more blessed to give than to receive." Giving gifts in our family has always been a time of helping our children think about what would delight the recipient of the gift. (No small chore with younger children!) We have tried to help them figure out gifts that they could make by hand, though there have also been years when the "perfect" present was purchased with their own money. It's really exciting this year to watch the handcrafted items that a sixteen year old, fourteen year old, and twelve year old can create! What fun it is to hide away in your room... making one-of-a kind gifts designed for one-of-a-kind people... answering the inevitable "What is it?" with riddles only you understand... and waiting... - "That's for me to know and you to find out... on Christmas Day" Wrapping presents should not be an earth-shaking, energy-draining event. But, somehow, it is for me. Perhaps it's my proclivity for putting things off till the last moment. Perhaps it's staying up until 2:00 a.m. on Christmas morning with my mother. I don't know. Whatever it is, I have found the solution to this problem in my beloved, organized daughter! Melody is the one who announces (in November, mind you!): "Mom, it's time to buy wrapping paper." "Wrapping paper? For what?" Sigh. "For Christmas presents." "Christmas presents???? But, Melody, it's only November!" Deeper sigh. "I know, Mom. But, you see, if we have the wrapping paper now, then we can wrap each present as it comes along, rather than waiting until the last moment." Aha. Well, as they say, "have not, wrap not. " (Even as I write this, there are already five presents under our tree - each one wrapped, of course, by Melody.) - Sweetening Another's Day We have made little gingerbread houses (from scratch) to give as gifts to folks in the community for years. It is a major production for one day - making the dough, cutting out dozens of walls and roofs, scoring the "bricks", baking, and decorating. Then, we set off to "carol" our friends and give them that token of our appreciation. This year we are especially looking forward to taking gingerbread houses to some of our elderly friends, who don't have family close by. This is one of our very favorite traditions. I suppose part of it is the delight of creating these delectable houses. But, oh, how heart-warming it is to stand outside someone's door and sing, "O Come, All Ye Faithful" ... sharing the joy of Christmas with them as our family gives both a song and a gift. Whatever you do, my dear friends, do it as unto the Lord. This time of year there are so many things to do: parties, concerts, movies, stores, baking, so much "going to do." In our desire to allow our children to "have it all", remember that what they really need is you. Delight yourselves in the Lord, love one another, enjoy your traditions and rituals, slow down and savor this moment. Merry Christmas! Blessings,   Diana Return to the List of the BOTCW Columns

HOME  •   Catalog  •   Books  •   Study Guides  •   Tapes  •   About the Author
Online Resources  •   Message Board  •   Newsletter  •   Web Column  •   Site Help

P.O. Box 378  •  Spearfish, SD 57783-2331  •  Phone: (605) 642-7583
E-mail: diana@dianawaring.com  •  URL: http://www.dianawaring.com/
© 1997-2000 Diana Waring, all rights reserved

LOST? LOOKING FOR A SPECIFIC PAGE? NEED A MAP TO GET AROUND?
Try our Site Map!