Issue 10 - March 15, 1998
by Diana Waring
E-mail It!

Beyond Survival Things We Wish We'd Known Ancient Civilizations and the Bible Romans, Reformers, Revolutionaries World Empires, World Missions, World Wars History Tapes Encouragement Tapes Music Newsletter Web Column Laughing Corner Online Catalog Place An Order! Monthly Special New & Upcoming Meet the Warings Schedule Message Board Site Map What's New? Search Site Web Links HOME

Dear Friends, You probably have been asked, "Well, if you homeschool your children, how will they EVER be socialized?" I don't know about you, but if I had a nickel for every time I've heard that question, the Waring family would rival Bill Gates for annual income!! Perhaps, though, you have had a lingering doubt in your mind about your child's "viability" outside the womb of your homeschool. We have certainly wondered, as the years have rolled by, about how our three children would handle themselves when surrounded by non-family, non-homeschool, even non-Christian people. When the children were at the rug-rat stage, they didn't appear to be any different than other people's children. They would cry when we left them with a sitter, they would cling when someone came to the doorstep, and they would yell when someone took their toy. So far, so normal. Home team - 0, World team - 0 The curtain-climber stage, or in our case, the tree-climber stage, demonstrated to us that our children were considerably behind their church peer group in certain modes of behavior. Our children were not versed in the art of put-down, sarcasm, make-fun-of-the-newcomer, and other "normal" actions. This had the disturbing effect of creating pain in the hearts of our children. We did not know for months about what was taking place when our backs were turned at church. However, since they were safe and secure when we were at home, we talked about the pain and prayed it through until we gained a measure of peace. We began to recognize that, at this stage, our children were not being "socialized" as the other youngsters were. Though they were being nurtured, cherished, and loved, they were not the social leaders in their limited society, at least, not yet. Home team - 0, World team - 1 The betweens stage (somewhere between 9 and 12) resulted in some interesting glimpses into the possibilities of being raised in the non-socialized world of homeschooling. When we would spend time with another family, my children would happily play and get along with their younger or older children. If an elderly person was able to visit, the children would sit enthralled for hours, listening to their stories and anecdotes. As we would interact with adults, our children would be "all ears", and when appropriate, they would enter the conversation in an intelligent and thoughtful way. Isaac, Michael, and Melody did not seem dependent on finding someone just their own age in order to have fun! Maybe this is going to work after all. Hmmm... I think the score needs to be adjusted. Home team - 1, World team - 1 We have now entered the stage of young adulthood. It is fascinating, to say the least. We have watched all three of our children expand their horizons and begin "trying their social wings" through various drama and sport functions. Last summer, when Michael was participating three times a week in the crowd scenes at the Black Hills Passion Play, he met a young man from France. Knowing that our family enthusiastically welcomes internationals, Michael brought him home one day. The language barrier seemed no problem for them, nor were the cultural differences. In fact, in having Hubert visit us, we all had a blast! Knowing the difficulties of communicating with people who spoke other languages, I asked Michael, "How did you get up the courage to talk to Hubert?" He looked at me with a puzzled expression. "Mom, I just went over to him and asked him some questions! It was not a big deal..." Aha. Yep, that's a non-socialized homeschooler for you. Home Team - 2, World Team - 1 Then there is Isaac. Last fall there were several young people from the youth group standing around visiting before the service started. They noticed a young man from the local high school running by with a few teammates. "Oh, wow. There he goes. Man, he's the star of the cross country team. I wish we could get him to come to youth group!" Isaac heard this, and thought, "Why not?", and took off running towards the "star". "Hi! Mind if I run with you a little bit?" Stare. "Sure, suit yourself." "Some friends and I saw you running by our church, and we wondered if you might like to come to youth group sometime." Stare. "I don't think so." "Tell you what. My friends said that you are the star of the track team. If I keep up with you on this run, will you consider coming?" Slightly bug-eyed stare. "Uh, well, sure." As Isaac reported to us later, he did his best to stay up with the other runner, even though his sandals flip-flopped kind of loud on the pavement! By the grace of God, he managed to stay within shouting distance, and when they finished the two mile run, the young track star looked at Isaac with a new measure of respect. "Man, you kept up pretty well." "Youth group (huff, puff) meets at seven o'clock. (puff, suck, blow) See you next ( pant, puff) week?" "Okay." Bill and I listened to this report with our mouths hanging open and our eyes bugged in disbelief. "Isaac, why did you do that?" "Well, I figured there was nothing to lose. If I could keep up with that guy, then he might come to youth group. And that was worth all the effort. Besides, a little exercise never hurt anybody!" Hmmm... Amazing... Another case of the non-socialized homeschooler coping in society... Home team - 3, World Team - 1 This brings me to last weekend. Our precious twelve year old daughter, Melody, had auditioned and won a leading part in the local theater production of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat." There were two other homeschool students in the cast, but the vast majority were from the public schools. The ages ranged from ten to sixteen, and the children came in all sizes and attitudes. As Melody would come home from the daily rehearsals, we would ask her about how things were going with the other students. She indicated that, though some of the cast were causing the director headaches, generally it was a pretty good place to be. She feigned agitation about being called a liar about her age. It seems several kids had asked her age, and then got all worked up because they were certain she had to be older than twelve. Aha. Bill and I prayed frequently for Melody and her involvement in this production. Knowing how easily social groups that exclude the outsider can form, we asked the Lord to help her develop some friendships among the cast members. We really didn't have a clue concerning the true nature of Melody's standing among the students until after the final performance, when she came bustling down the aisle towards us, "Mom, Dad, we have to stay for a few minutes so that we can plan a cast party!" "Okay. Has this been figured out already?" "No, not yet. But we REALLY want to be able to exchange phone numbers and visit a little with each other." Hmmm... Well, what's a few more minutes at the end of a long day? We watched the herds of young people milling around the stage, without direction or purpose. The director, a courageous and kind, but tired lady, stood off to the side. Suddenly, Melody stood up on the stage and yelled, "Everyone on stage!" They all got on the stage, but they were still milling around and making rumbling noises. The sounds of the director's whistle broke through the rumble. As we watched in disbelief, our twelve year old blew the whistle as hard as she could. Instant silence followed. "Sit down!" All forty cast members sat down. Immediately. "We want to have a cast party." "Yay!" "No!" "Yay!" "How many people can come on Tuesday night?" Most hands were raised. "Alright. Mrs. Higbee, may we have the cast party here?" Affirmative nod. "Let's meet at 5:00 here at the theater. We'll finish by 7:00 p.m. Does that sound good?" "Yay!" "No!" "Yay!" "Alright. See you then!" Standing in the back of the room were dozens of parents with their mouths hanging open and their eyes bulging out of their heads. We had all just witnessed the near miracle of one young lady silencing, directing, and arranging the affairs of teeming young multitudes. We all chuckled respectfully at her authority and her organization. Most of us thought that perhaps this was the best part of the whole show! (And we caught it on video tape!!!) At home, I asked Melody if she had worked out all of the details before hand. She replied, "No. I suggested to Mrs. Higbee that she needed to organize our cast party before everyone left, and she handed the whistle to me and said, 'Go for it!' So, I did. I had to make it up as I went." Aha. Well, there you go. Unsocialized homeschoolers are getting ready to blow the socks off society. And it's going to be lots of fun to watch!! This one counts as a triple. Home team - 6, World team - 1 Perhaps the real question to be asked is, "If you DON'T homeschool your children, how will they ever be truly socialized?" Blessings, Diana Return to the List of Newsletter Issues

HOME  •   Catalog  •   Books  •   Study Guides  •   Tapes  •   About the Author
Online Resources  •   Message Board  •   Newsletter  •   Web Column  •   Site Help

P.O. Box 378  •  Spearfish, SD 57783-2331  •  Phone: (605) 642-7583
E-mail: diana@dianawaring.com  •  URL: http://www.dianawaring.com/
© 1997-2000 Diana Waring, all rights reserved

LOST? LOOKING FOR A SPECIFIC PAGE? NEED A MAP TO GET AROUND?
Try our Site Map!