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Dear Friends,
A new season - autumn, a new temperature - cold, a new look to the trees - golden leaves and increasingly bare silhouettes of branches. Birds are flocking round their human-provided food source... courageously lining up to experience the newest "birdfeeder rides", courtesy of the howling wind. Long-out-of-season foods, such as chili and cornbread, hot chocolate and marshmallows, beef stew and hot rolls, are increasingly attractive. And I have a new outlook, a new perspective, a new understanding - no mean trick for someone who is forty-something. Though it was learned in my physical body, the principle applies to homeschooling. Interested? Read on!
As many of you know, the past month has been one of physical rehabilitation for my neck and shoulders. They were so tense that I experienced days and days of headaches. The pain was so great, and the headaches so bad, that I went to bed for a week trying to escape from it. Unfortunately I was a POP (prisoner of pain) and no escape was possible. Hmmm... Decision time: either quit writing books, speaking, travelling, keeping a web site, etc. - since all of these things have been slowly but surely bringing me to this state - OR, get help to break the tension and pain. I opted, somewhat reluctantly, for getting help.
My husband suggested I go to a local chiropractor, which turned out to be a tremendous blessing. (Lesson #1, Diana - Listen to your husband!) Dr. Reed, a lady in my distress, strongly encouraged me to take responsibility for my own recovery by learning to stretch (appropriately) the muscle groups involved, as well as to institute daily walking or swimming. Otherwise, I would never really have any significant, long-lasting health in that part of my body.
Hmmm. Rather than hiring an "auto-body-mechanic" to fix what was wrong, she told me I needed to get to know my muscles, how they functioned, and what I could do to make them work. To help me along the path, she gave me daily stretches, taught me how to sit appropriately (after forty-two years, I thought I knew how!), and encouraged me to listen to what my muscles were trying to communicate - "We're going to clamp down now and give you tremendous pain until you pay attention to us!!"
Wow!!! All of a sudden, Diana was in the driver's seat... Rather than a "victim" of pain, I was learning how to "take charge"!! Instead of depending on aspirin, prescriptions, neck rubs from unsuspecting family members, and days spent in bed, I became pro-active with walking, stretching, and other healthy behaviors. And the change from the one to the other was one of the most liberating, invigorating experiences of my physical life. This is a lifestyle change, and by the grace of God, it is permanent.
I was sharing this the other day with my hairdresser. As she listened to my enthusiastic recital, she began nodding her head in excitement.
"Diana, that sounds JUST like what I'm learning about losing weight! You know, I've begun to realize that I am the one responsible for what I put in my mouth... not my genes, not my parents, not my thyroid. Me!" As we continued to talk, she shared that for a long time she had depended on "diets" (which we all go off eventually...), "fat-free foods" (which consumed in great quantities are still fattening...), "herbs" (which only work when you do, not in spite of what you do...), etc. But now, for the first time, she was beginning to take charge of what went into her mouth. Again, by the grace of God, she is learning to be responsible for and aware of what she eats. And this time, what she is learning is making for lifelong changes that are not "artifical" or "other-imposed"... She is not going to be a "victim" of overeating any longer.
We, as homeschoolers, have "taken back" many of the responsibilities that our culture has wanted to provide for us - including, specifically, teaching our own children. It is a step of faith, a step requiring courage, a step towards responsibility. It is a good step, and it will surely reap rewards in your children.
But sometimes, lurking amidst our homeschooling mentality, we find an attitude of chronic reliance on experts and professionals, on others who will "make it happen" for us. We buy the most popular curriculums, hoping for the magic cure. Computer software is purchased as the panacea so we don't have to "mess" with the subject while our children are painlessly instructed. We use others' planning ideas, schedules, menus, you-name-it, in hopes that somebody has figured out how to do it right. When our children aren't getting it, or we're exhausted, or our in-laws are questioning our methods, we either want to give up or find the "perfect" curriculum.
I understand, believe me! I have been there!!! And my choice was - QUIT!!! But, fortunately, my husband vetoed that option. So I began searching for the perfect curriculum. Years and hundreds of dollars later I came to the conclusion that there were no "perfect" curriculums... Well, Whaddayaknow! However, I did become aware that there were many good resources available to help me in my responsibilities as a homeschool mom.
Experienced homeschool moms, who understand what I was experiencing, have put their ideas in books; educators with decades of experience have made learning tools and guides; teachers have turned out fantastic curriculum just for us. There are excellent books on homeschooling. There are wonderful phonics programs that will give you help in teaching your children to read. There are fantastic math books to enable you to work with your children mathematically. There are some super educational computer software programs that you and your children can use to explore areas of learning. There are fabulous books to be read aloud, or to discuss with your children after they have read them on their own. There are boundless opportunities where you can learn together... whether in a garden, a kitchen, a car, a restaurant, a hospital, a quarry. Do you notice the operative word here? That's right - YOU!
The point is that you are in charge! Now, don't be intimidated by that - after all, you potty-trained your little ones, and that's probably the hardest thing they will ever have to learn. :o)
No, dear friends, be freed from
an "I'm-only-a-homeschool-mom,-
and-I-don't-know-anything-
and-I-have-to-do-everything-
the-experts-prescribe-for-me-
even-though-it-seems-pointless" mentality!!
Another thing you can do that is tremendously freeing is to gain more knowledge about your subject! I have been learning all about the different muscle groups in my body and where they are, which is helping me know what to stretch when my neck hurts! You can do the same thing - read up on homeschooling, on education, on learning.
Read and ask questions to understand what is causing the "problems" you may be experiencing. I highly recommend Ruth Beechick's The Three R's for understanding grades K-3, and her You CAN Teach Your Child Successfully for older grades. She will help you learn the "mechanics" of teaching the subjects. Also, check out some books on learning styles, like Cynthia Tobias', The Way They Learn.
Become pro-active! - spend time listening to your children, being intimately involved in the learning process, praying for specific direction for your family. Take charge! - if it isn't working: modify it, change it or toss it. Be a victor instead of a victim! - institute healthy lifestyle changes in your family in the areas of communication, committment, and care for one another.
BTW, my dear husband suggests that you should not let me be your "expert" either!! :o) Amen!
Blessings and joy in the journey!
Diana
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